I said, “So does God. That’s why you can see the Grand Canyon from the moon.” —Andrea Gibson (via riannafinch)
if you don’t have anything nice to say then come sit next to me and we will make fun of people together
- Friend: ... Wait- Tom Hiddleston's the one who plays Loki? You think HE'S the hottest person in the Avengers?
- Me: Only of course!
- Friend: But he's so ugly!
- Me: *incoherent appalled and offended noises*
- Friend: Well, ok I'm sorry but have you seen Thor?
- Me: Yes... no... yes.... no.
- Me Internally: I think I've seen the whole movie in gif format. I can't tell her that can I? No that's not normal. No.
- Friend: Well have you or haven't you?
- Me: .... no.
- Friend: See that's why- he's not attractive dressed up as Loki.
- Me (whisper): How dare you insult my baby.
Wayne Brady: 50,072,587,425
Ryan Stiles: 11,113,372,791.5
Colin Mochrie: 3,012,399,040.5
Chip Esten: 2,004,047,000
Greg Proops: 1,001,122,117
Brad Sherwood: 1,071,980.5
Denny Segal: 1,059,560
Karen Maruyama: 1,004,450
Kathy Greenwood: 59,810
Stephen Colbert: 12,000
Kathy Griffin: 5,000
Ian Gomez: 4,000
Jeff Davis: 3,300
Josie Lawrence: 3000
Whoopi Goldberg: 2,500
Patrick Bristow: 1,000
Robin Williams: 1,000
Kathy Kinney: 50
wouldn’t it be great is there were an anime about these three or four girls with brown or black hair that are all really dull and bland but they’re in a class of eccentric stereotypical anime girls and they just sit there and whine about how much they hate their classmates
the poison for kuzco.
the poison chosen especially to kill kuzco.
If I were in the Hunger Games I would use one of the parachutes and gift containers and put all kinds of poisonous berries in them and then climb trees and send them down to unsuspecting tributes. Oh, you thought you were getting a nice fruit salad? Think again. POISON.
Today I had a lecture about belief/religion and the lecturer asked what we believed in and some guy shouted “Sherlock Holmes” and then some other kid shouted back “Richard Brook was innocent” and they glared at each other across the room and then the lecturer just carried on with a slightly concerned look on her face.
roses are red
violets are blue
sunflowers are yellow
i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts
Have you ever noticed how horrifying those smiley french fries are in groups?
you’re burning us alive
our insides are melting
what was up with Andrew’s bowtie tonight.
it looks sad
is that a regular tie
that is a regular tie
as a bow tie
oh my god andrew
did you fucking wear a regular tie
and then get embarrassed when everyone else was wearing a bowtie
and try to fix it
i’ve been using the internet for about 13 years and i still don’t know what an rss feed even is
notice how the british way of spelling those words are underlined in red!!!
notice how every other country in the world hates you
what about canada
canada doesnt hate us
nobody cares what canada thinks
Canada can’t hear you over all the gay marriages taking place